Saying what I mean and meaning what I say....Oct. 1st

Written Oct. 1st

I've known for a while now that things would be a lot
easier if I had a 100% desire to not have sex with a
woman. I've just really struggled in getting to that
point. It happened though, at least for last night. I
was "propositioned" last night and I said no. It was
more powerful than previous times because I actually
meant it. I said I didn't want to and I really meant
that I didn't want to. I didn't mean that I would love
to, but I'm not allowed to, which is the message I've
been sending lately. I said no, I meant no, and it
felt good.