I haven't been posting much because oddly enough, there is a lot going on with me. When I used to post on my Xanga site regularly, if I had a lot going on, that's when I would post the most. However, things are a bit more complicated. The things that I want to post about, I don't necessarily want my mom reading, but I've already given her the link. I could probably ask her not to read it.....she didn't seem to like what it had to say anyway.
My mom has been inactive since my parents divorce 13 years ago. For years I have prayed that my mom would come back to church, but I always add that I don't want anything bad to happen in order to get her to come back. (I've learned in the past that you have to be VERY careful about what you pray for.) So, finally, I decided that I care more about her eternal salvation that 100% happiness here on this earth. So, I finally, reluctantly, took out that sentence. However, I did add in another. I added, if you have to do something difficult to get her back, can you make it happen to me instead of her? So, here we go.
I've had a fever for a while without many other symptoms. My lymph nodes have been swelling up and my face gets flushed quite easily. That's about all the symptoms. So, it doesn't seem too bad right? Well, there is about an 80% chance that I have Non-Hodgkins lymphoma. I can't go in for all the tests because I don't have insurance. So, if I get the official diagnosis before I have insurance, it will be considered a pre-existing condition. Anyway, I cried for the first few days. Then, I remembered my prayer about my mom and decided that I'm ok with whatever I have. I'm not worried about dying from it because of certain things said in my patriarchal blessing. However, if dying from it would bring my mom back to the Gospel, it would be well worth it.
I also have some things going on at home which I will post later.
My mom has been inactive since my parents divorce 13 years ago. For years I have prayed that my mom would come back to church, but I always add that I don't want anything bad to happen in order to get her to come back. (I've learned in the past that you have to be VERY careful about what you pray for.) So, finally, I decided that I care more about her eternal salvation that 100% happiness here on this earth. So, I finally, reluctantly, took out that sentence. However, I did add in another. I added, if you have to do something difficult to get her back, can you make it happen to me instead of her? So, here we go.
I've had a fever for a while without many other symptoms. My lymph nodes have been swelling up and my face gets flushed quite easily. That's about all the symptoms. So, it doesn't seem too bad right? Well, there is about an 80% chance that I have Non-Hodgkins lymphoma. I can't go in for all the tests because I don't have insurance. So, if I get the official diagnosis before I have insurance, it will be considered a pre-existing condition. Anyway, I cried for the first few days. Then, I remembered my prayer about my mom and decided that I'm ok with whatever I have. I'm not worried about dying from it because of certain things said in my patriarchal blessing. However, if dying from it would bring my mom back to the Gospel, it would be well worth it.
I also have some things going on at home which I will post later.
posted by Latter-gay-saint at 8:05 PM
1 Comments:
Oh! You're going to be in my prayers. If you want to e-mail me your name, I'll get you on the prayer lists at the temple.
My heart is drawn to you. What a thing to face. I said in my blog I don't pray much anymore...and that's true, but I do pray for those people I know in need. You'll be there, right at the top.
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