A previous post on the Atonement

This is something that I posted on my xanga site and I decided to put it on here as well because of a comment on -L-'s blog. Wow, I can't believe I wrote this over a year ago.

Wednesday, October 19, 2005


One of the questions on the Life of Christ final was, Describe in detail the physical process of Jesus Christ's crucifixion. About 3/4 through my answer I was in tears. First, I will give the answer. Then, I will discuss what it means to me. First, they took him and stripped him. Then they flogged him, which includes taking a whip which is made of leather straps with metal and/or lead on the end and hitting Him with it. When they whipped Him, the metal stuck into the skin. Then, they ripped it out, causing Him to bleed. After they did this, they put his robe back on Him. After they hammered a crown of thorns on His head, they removed His robe, which had stuck to the wounds, reopening them. Then, they made Him carry the crossbeam 650 yards to Calvary which means place of the skull. He was too weak to carry it the whole way so they had Simon, a man in the crowd, carry it the rest of the way. Once they got there, they drove spikes into his wrists to nail Him to the crossbeam. Then, they lifted the crossbeam onto the stipe, or upright. Then, they placed one foot on top of the other and drove another spike into His feet. While He was hanging on the cross, He had to lift Himself up to exhale and lower Himself to inhale. In order to do this, He had to rotate His wrists on the nerve which had a spike driven through it. He continued in this manner until He died of either suffocation, or heart failure. It is believed that it was most likely heart failure because He continued to talk up until the point that He died. (I personally believe it wasn't either of those, but the fact that He voluntarily "gave up the ghost", but for the purpose of the test, I had to put what my teacher said.)

Now, after I took my final, I sat out in the lobby and waited for Ellen to get finished. I had plenty of time to reflect on my feelings. I said a silent prayer apologizing to Him for the sins that I have committed. I know that He died for all of us, but I contributed to His pain. That hurts me very much. As I was apologizing, I reflected on the words of my mother, when she was talking about Ellen's son. I know I haven't gone into complete detail like I planned on doing, but it is sufficient to say at this time that he did something very hurtful to me and a few other people. He has apologized and what my mom said was, "Don't *say* sorry. Show me with your actions." It hit me at that time, that He already died for me and for all the world. Yes, my sins did contribute to His pain, but He loves me enough that He took on everything I have done and will do. Now, am I simply going to say, "I'm sorry." or am I going to show Him with my actions? Will I do the things He has asked, or are they simply too hard, the way that Joe feels it is just too hard to complete all the things that he needs to do to rectify the situation that he caused? I once again made a commitment to my Savior that I will do the things that He has asked of me, no matter how difficult I believe they are.