My calling in life
In my patriarchal blessing, I was told that I would be a "leader among women" both within the Church and within the community. Since my Mom served as a Relief Society president for a while, I figured I would at some point in my life be called as a RS president and the church aspect would be fulfilled. As far as the community aspect is concerned, that has peaked my curiosity for quite some time. It's not as though I sit around trying to figure out which parts have been fulfilled, and how others will be fulfilled, but that particular part comes up in my mind quite a bit. I think about it when I am applying for jobs. I considered it when deciding what type of career I would prepare for in college. A few years ago, I was certain I had figured it out. I was sitting in a worship service at the local "gay church". I was listening to the preacher discuss how people misinterpret the Bible and all the different places in the Bible in which it says that it's OK to be gay. After the sermon, they discussed a gay pride event coming up. That's when I decided I knew my calling in life.
It was going to be televised and I decided I was going to go. I decided that too many people are confused and needed to be informed about the truth. However, I couldn't figure out why something against church standards would be in my blessing. I made the choice to figure some more things out before I broadcast myself on television as a lesbian. I'm very glad I did. For a couple years, as I was in a relationship with someone, I tried to figure out how Heavenly Father was going to use me because I knew that this trial was for a reason. In finding all of the people here who are true to the standards of the Church, I've finally figured it out (this time I think it's for real). I felt all alone until I found out there were other people like me. Until recently, the only people I found who were gay and LDS, had chosen to live the gay lifestyle. Once I get my own life straightened out, I'm going to reach out to others. I'm going to make it known that there are people like us out there. I'm going to somehow become a "leader among women" in bringing them back to the truth. Some may find it bold for me to say, since I'm just now taking the next step in my own journey, but I'm putting it out there for everyone to see.......One day....after I've gone a bit farther on the path myself, I will start helping others along the way so that they don't have to feel as alone as I have felt for the past couple years.
It was going to be televised and I decided I was going to go. I decided that too many people are confused and needed to be informed about the truth. However, I couldn't figure out why something against church standards would be in my blessing. I made the choice to figure some more things out before I broadcast myself on television as a lesbian. I'm very glad I did. For a couple years, as I was in a relationship with someone, I tried to figure out how Heavenly Father was going to use me because I knew that this trial was for a reason. In finding all of the people here who are true to the standards of the Church, I've finally figured it out (this time I think it's for real). I felt all alone until I found out there were other people like me. Until recently, the only people I found who were gay and LDS, had chosen to live the gay lifestyle. Once I get my own life straightened out, I'm going to reach out to others. I'm going to make it known that there are people like us out there. I'm going to somehow become a "leader among women" in bringing them back to the truth. Some may find it bold for me to say, since I'm just now taking the next step in my own journey, but I'm putting it out there for everyone to see.......One day....after I've gone a bit farther on the path myself, I will start helping others along the way so that they don't have to feel as alone as I have felt for the past couple years.
posted by Latter-gay-saint at 11:33 PM
3 Comments:
You rock.
Isn't it weird how little bits of a patriarchal blessing sort of creep in all the time and you try to figure them out? One bit from my blessing is very much relevant to my blog and I hadn't even made the connection until your post just now. So, thanks for that.
It always makes me glad to see that someone has chosen to try to remain faithful in the church despite this challenge. I mean, sure, I still love and hope the best for those who choose another path, but I'm really glad for you today.
Thank you. I appreciate your support. Also, you're welcome. I'm glad I was able to help you make that connection.
Thanks for your post. And welcome to the Bloggosphere!
I've had similar experiences trying to figure out the meaning of various parts of my Patriarchal Blessing. Sometimes I think I've got some puzzling statements figured out, and then something will occur in my life and I realize I'm still not quite there--that there is more meaning than I previously thought.
Because of your experience, and when you feel ready, I'm sure you'll have a lot to offer those trying to find they're way back to the Church. Best wishes as you try to fulfill your calling.
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